i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
