Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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