You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
