I think im going to throw up on grandma
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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