The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize