DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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