No stitches, just platelets and will power
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize