so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
