guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
