she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
