Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
