if i can run in heels then i can drive
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
