we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
