let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
