im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
