She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
