you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
