Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
