Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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