I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
