i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
