Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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