I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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