so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
