I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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