I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
