just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
