she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
