i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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