I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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