What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
