help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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