Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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