we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We had to coat check the pizza.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize