She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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