You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
