Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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