Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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