If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
