I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
