College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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