i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
