Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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