Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
