took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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