Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize