Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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