Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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