Nicole vs. Life
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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