I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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