is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My bed smells like the plague
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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