dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
