I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
