I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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