covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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