nut hugger
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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