Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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