Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize