Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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