dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
