I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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