Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My cat gives me a boner
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize