If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
