just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
