you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
